Yesterday I came to a realization. Tomorrow I might weep for what I've done today...

(warning! rambling ahead with a few bits that might make you smile once or twice!)


Yesterday I came to a realization. Tomorrow I might weep for what I've done today...

No, I didn't break any of the ten commandments. I didn't even get annoyed enough at anyone around me to snap and make snide comments that I'll have to apologize for later. I might, however, have to apologize to myself for what I did this evening...

I'll start from the beginning:

I've been thinking for a while that it is definitely time to get back to a better shape than I am now but haven't had the time, energy, or will to actually get to the gym. And while I did participate in the Low Iodine Diet that my husband had to follow for his cancer treatment, I wasn't exactly counting calories either.

Now that Nick's scans are showing positive results (THANK YOU, GOD, FOR PRAYERS ANSWERED!) and life is getting a bit back to normal, I thought I'd try giving the diet and exercise thing another go.

Then I made the mistake that initiated the realization... I thought it would be a good idea to use  a body mass index calculator so that I could have a starting point to compare progress. In theory - it's still a good idea. In reality - it's an unexpected bombshell.

It's amazing how the brain works - I've seen just how much the mind can justify, qualify, and just plain DENY the truth about anything. For some people who are compulsive hoarders - they can stand in the filthy room with debris piled around them but all their mind 'sees' is the sentiment of the family portrait that hangs on the wall it's been hanging on for twenty years - even if that portrait is hiding behind 10 years of magazine stacks. Though I'm not a hoarder (well, not clinically diagnosed anyway), I can see where their problems start. It is much to easy to let the little things go for a while with the thought that you'll get to it later. Meanwhile while things start to pile up little by little, little by little the brain starts to 'see' around those things and only remembers what it used to be.  Kind of like how your brain is capable of seeing more than one thing in the same image - it's all dependent on your perspective.

My realization came when I discovered that my brain has been doing this sneaky, deviant act for a while now. Except it's not about my home (though it IS admittedly a little bit messy right now), it's about my physical fitness and appearance. Though I'm not a typically vain person (I hope), some of the pictures I've seen of myself lately were appalling to me and there's only so many times it can be passed of on poor lighting, ill-fitting outfits, or digital blurring.

My realization was cemented when I typed in those 5 digits into the BMI calculator... 5-6-1-9-0.... Everyone had their personal thoughts about what's fit and what's flabby and I'm sure your personal physicians know best... So when I typed in those numbers: 5'-6"h, 190 pounds and awaited the calculation - I was a little scared.
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I should have been a lot scared.
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Apparently my brain has been neglecting the fact that I've been overweight for a WHILE now because my BMI reading says that I am now in the 'obese' category. I think I went into a little bit of shock because I  blacked out and when I woke up I had a diet menu planned out for each meal of the week and a grocery list to accomplish it.

Did well all through the day with food (not counting the Pluckers dinner but I couldn't help that one - it had already been planned pre-realization and hey, you're supposed to start slow with the diet and exercise to help make it stick right?... well that lead's me to the part of my evening that might make me weep tomorrow...

I actually remembered to pack the gym back this morning, get it in the car, and then actually walked into the gym this evening (even after a plateful of boneless wings - I know! Aren't you proud?!?)  and complete my favorite work out : laps in the pool.

I know from previous experience (my own and Nick's) that overdoing it the first time back at the gym is a mistake and just hinders your chance for success when you make it that much more difficult to go back to the gym on day 2.....like the time I did 50 lunges on day one.... and honestly couldn't walk up the stairs to work for a week (at least without crying).

So - I planned my timing fairly carefully. When I was in good shape I was able to swim continuous laps for 45 minutes (I'm convinced a big part of that is owed to the waterproof mp3 player Nick so thoughtfully bought me a few years back in those golden years of being 'fit' - music really does make it all go by so much faster down't you think?). I figured that if I did a little less than 1/2 of what I would call a normal workout that would get some blood pumping but not really make an impact - just start to build up a little endurance... Apparently endurance isn't my problem.

20 minutes of lap swimming was great - it may have been the most relaxed 20 minutes I've had in 6 months. No - scratch that - the 10 minutes I spent in the hut tub under the waterfall that pounded a few of the knots out of my shoulders was the most relaxing 20 minutes I've had in 6 months.

Though I was certainly fatigued, I was not expecting that I would't be able to lift my phone, let alone my arms, to brush the knots out of my hair within 30 minutes of the workout.

Even now, as I type this, I kid you not, I am wincing and having a bit of trouble keeping my arms high enough on the keyboard to type. Whew knew 20 minutes of breast stroke and freestyle would leave me so incapable?!?!

And that, my friends, is why I might weep tomorrow... Because just like I know I will never do 50 lunges in a row again, I also know that the day I am the most sore after a work out isn't day 2 but is definitely day 3 for me... If I'm having this much trouble 3 hours after swimming what will day 3 bring? There are muscles I didn't know I had that are throbbing right now. Muscles I didn't even know I had when I was at my peak and doing high kicks and dancing on the drill team for 3 hours a day. If someone said they'd give me a million dollars right now if I could just hit the ball off the tee - I'm not sure I'd even be able to get the golf club over my head!

Soooo..... if things go like I dread that they will with my muscles it looks like I'll be wincing from here until the end of the week. Maybe I'll do some stretching before bed tonight, and take it even easier with a beginner's pilates tomorrow.

In the mean time if you see me around town tomorrow - please forgive the un-brushed hairdo and if I don't wave hello to you. It just means that I can't physically lift my arms high enough to do it!

Oh the things we do in the pursuit of fitness... Wish me luck in this crazy, muscle aching quest!

my 'other' blog

Since I've been SOOOO very lax with keeping this up - I just wanted to mention that I haven't been completely lazy - just incredibly busy and distracted.

Between work crazies and Nick being diagnosed with Thyroid cancer... let's just say my reason's for not blogging more often are much more acceptable than my typical pathetic "too tired" ones. PLUS I wanted to say that I haven't been completed devoid of digital outreach but instead have had to direct it towards marketing efforts at work instead of my personal rantings and ravings. SO - that said - even thought I don't have a really good or 'real' post of my own for today - I will be happy to direct you to the ones that 1. i HAVE been working on the past months and 2. point out some of the reasons that have kept me so busy :)

So- here's the point in the post where you get to "choose your own adventure" like we used to do with those paperbacks that you'd leave your finger marked in until you knew whether or not the choice to go into the cave left you eaten by a dragon or not... :) :

1. Go Check out my husband's blog -"Blog, FatBoy, Blog" where he so humorously describes his battle with thyroid cancer. Really - he is amazing that he's going through all of this and still has such a sense of comedy and sarcasm. We certainly know how we get through our stressful times (read: irreverent jokes and excuses to use text to speech applications to tell dirty jokes in a snotty british lady's accent) http://blogfatboy.blogspot.com/2010/08/lasciate-ogni-speranza-voi-chentrate.html

and/or

2. Go Check out my work's blog and all our digital marketing efforts. It's amazing that as an Interior Designer at a normal sized (read: small) firm you really have to be more than just a designer: you have to be a Marketing outreacher, a cad draftsman, a student (learning a new 3d drafting and modeling program now...), a counselor/diplomat (how many times a week do I navigate getting clients not only to agree with each other about what they want but then have to be...) a salesman (to get them to buy in to my design aesthetically), a teacher (to educate them about why my design is not only 'pretty' but also meets safety codes and could improve employee productivity and absenteeism - oh and to education EVERYONE that Registered Interior Designers are not just paint and pillow fluffers but that what we do seriously affects the Health, Safety, and Welfare of the public at large either negatively or hopefully very positively - that is a whole 'nother blog series I may be posting about one day very soon) but now - also a graphic designer and copy editor... hence - the birth of a new blog! http://ppds-inc.com/blog/

Hope y0u enjoy both!

-b

interesting bar designs!

A friend forwarded me this blog page today and I am enthralled by the last project - wow - that's some careful fabrication! What do you want to bet that the whole design was inspired by the chair design?

http://homeofficedecoration.blogspot.com/2009/09/home-bar-design-ideas.html

:) Enjoy

-B

And the blogging debut commences...

So - here we go with my first blog! I've volunteered to try to take my company's (PPDS) digital marketing strategy to the next level (aka - CREATING a digital marketing strategy since we don't have one yet) and figured this would be a good platform to figure out the in's and out's of blogspot BEFORE I mess something up on a company site that can't be 'undone'.

Now that the Westwood Class of 1999 Reunion and IIDA's Evolution fundraisers are complete I might actually have a little time to put towards keeping in touch with my family and friends rather than struggling just to keep up with eating three meals a day and doing laundry often enough to not have to go 'commando'...

Therefore - let Busy Becky's Blogging commence!


So - had a furniture rep come in today to talk about what they could offer to our company and when I saw this chair I knew I had to share it with those of you who might appreciate it (aka - those of you that are parents)... Does anyone else think this MUST have been inspired by someone who has learned the 'magic' of the baby bouncy seat and figured - "Hey... wouldn't it be great if they made this in an adult size?!?"..... Check it out here: http://www.kimballoffice.com/office-furniture-Seating/Fit/default.aspx

Apparently UT (or at least some of their satellite campuses) have signed on for MANY of these and they swear they're really comfortable AND actually easy to get out of... We shall see....